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Assertiveness
 You arrive at the surprise party but the host and hostess, whom you know, are not there yet. You talk to the two other people you know and they introduce you to one other person but he has to go and do something else. You are left isolated.
The big decision is looming. Which little group to go and 'gate-crash' by introducing yourself? You can't just go and stand on the edge of the group like an eaves-dropping interloper. You have to muster the courage to assert your warmth and interest to join them in conversation. You may have to deal with imagined feelings of not being welcome, but you overcome them because you are assertive and confident and very interested in others. You join a group and the night is a great one from there onwards.
This is one simple example of how assertion is helpful in every day situations. It is not aggressive behaviour but the message of assertiveness is:
“This is what I think. This is what I feel. This is how I see the situation.”
It is saying and showing how you can respect yourself and treat people the way that you want to be treated. You are standing up for yourself and calmly and genuinely taking action to get your needs met. You would expect no less from others.
Being assertive allows you to say "No" and feel free of guilt, anxiety and being drawn into a victim position by others. With practice, you, as an assertive person, are able to increase your control over reactions and feelings that otherwise have bothered you.
Coaching and training together are a great way to develop assertiveness and give you and others, the chance to expand choices and improve your interactions with loved ones, with work mates and certainly with managers!
Of course if you are being bullied at work, then give me a call. Workplace bullying in my view is a disgraceful situation in this world and so many articles and reports are telling us that it is increasing, not decreasing.
What is going on with people that we allow this? What are we doing for those who are victimised but also those who are doing the bullying? Coaching offers help to both camps by developing our behaviours based on our values, not systems.
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